Expectations

While studying and working abroad I am constantly meeting different people from all over the world. And after getting to know better some of them it is interesting to observe and see how some people define expectations for others but when it comes to them these expectations do not apply. They expect certain behavior form others and if it is not happening as they have thought then either they are upset or starting conflicts.

I am kind of person who is trying to have a balance and peace in my relationships with family or friends. So in order to have that sometimes I tend to have more understanding for others than toward myself. And I compromise on too much things I shouldn’t because to not have a conflicts. I just feel powerless and frozen in conflicts especially when I am not able to rationally state my opinion and defend myself. And so after meeting people who are having almost zero understanding towards me but who are expecting that whatever they do they will be understood it makes me feel angry. But angry inside about myself because I am not being able to step up and ignore it and do anyway what I consider best for me. And so I am putting myself on hold in order to not have a conflict. I know I should be much smarter and to just let go of these kind of situations but I am not there yet.

I have always thought that all good and bad situations in life and people I meet provide me with useful lessons. After realizing my struggles with myself I know I have met these kind of people to push my limits and finally set myself free from my fears and putting myself second. I understand that everyone has their own inner fights but I do not think it gives anyone rights to seek conflicts in order to feel better or setting one way expectations and at the same time deciding that they do not apply to them. At the end the most important thing is to be kind and loving to ourselves and others especially when it comes to family and friends.

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