It looks like this week is one of those times when most of the plans are just not happening as planned. Even weather is against me so I decided to let go and go with the flow. I know again I am saying to myself “go with the flow” but somehow even if I am fighting against that it just happens. Of course I feel a bit tension in the chest and my usual thoughts want to come out but today I feel stronger to just say “No, STOP“. I will not go to that dark place and make me feel bad about myself, about the day and at the end about everything. Resistance always makes it worse and I should be much more compassionate to myself when outside is not working in my favor.
I know so well that it is hard to follow that but when I look back to my life and different periods the more I was resistant and pushy nothing was working in my favor. And it got me more anxious and frustrated because things were not happening as I wanted. But then I did not think that maybe there is another path I need to go and the more resistant I was the slower things were going to improve. And one of the examples was my move to the Germany. I was so resistant for some time to consider moving away and starting studies in Germany that it was just not working. Since I was unsatisfied in my job I tried really hard to change it but somehow there were always rejections and so I clearly remember one day I just sat down in my room and said to myself: “Just let it go and see maybe it will work with Germany”. And once I shifted my mind and focus from being frustrated to being more open and relaxed everything fell into place. Of course later there were other challenges and sometimes I was able to keep with the flow but not always. I know for sure I have missed a lot of good moments just because I was too concentrated on the negative and I kept it always in my mind. So these lessons are a good reminder to me to just let it go and relax. It is OK to give myself a break because that it is the only thing I can influence.
Go with the flow. Force nothing. Let it happen… trusting whichever way it goes. It’s for the best. Many Hale