10.12.2018 = Compromising

Today is one of those days when I am quite angry of myself because I am still allowing my fears to control my life and behavior. I still have a problem defending my opinion and expressing things important to me. From one point I am trying to be peacemaker even if I see sometimes I will not benefit from that but still because of fear I do it.  From another point there are people who just express whatever dissatisfaction they have without caring about the outcome or considering how other person would feel. And the thought that I am compromising my life because of these kind of people makes me angry. Angry that I am not able to fully step up for myself and I treat myself as a less equal.

But maybe it is good to have a bit of an anger inside because it gives me a kick to push myself further. To just have more and more confidence to not allow fear to control me and to be one more step closer to reach my full potential. I am for sure on the way to have a better self understanding but moments like that when I just compromise too much where I should not have raises a bit of a frustration. So today I will use it to my advantage to not forget and keep moving forward because no one deserves to compromise too much of their own life and happiness. For some it comes naturally but for some like me I need to practice it until I make it.

Remember how much of yourself you are compromising to meet the approval of others. Twisting your personality until it breaks completely. Rachel Wolchin

09.12.2018 = Self – compassion

Do we have enough compassion and understanding towards ourselves? Or it is just better to let some things go and let it be even though we would compromise something just to avoid some conflicts. Especially when around the corner is Christmas and lots of celebrations it so easy to just forget who deserves first the most of your compassion.

I know how great it feels to help someone and bring joy to them. However, sometimes maybe it brings more pressure than joy. Pressure to give the “right” gift to a family member, to plan enough time for everyone or just to not disappoint a friend. And the list goes on especially when there is also a personal relationship involved. So in this case I need to have enough compassion towards my partner so I would not look like I care less about this person. And all of this can be really stressful especially for those who are struggling with social anxiety and fear of judgment. It is so easy to get lost in this circle where you are not included.

So this time of the year I ask you to give yourself a special gift – compassion. Compassion towards yourself, love yourself and to be understanding of all the good and bad moments. No matter how stressful you are feeling try to come back to yourself and start building again your circle but now first including yourself. And to have a happy you is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and then to others.

Self – compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others. Christopher Germer